Marriage counseling for improving problem-solving skills


Effective Marriage counseling for improving problem-solving skills is essential for couples to navigate conflicts and find constructive resolutions. Dr. Gottman suggests that finding a solution both partners can live with is not a magical process. Instead, he emphasizes the importance of understanding and validating each other’s positions before engaging in persuasion.

To tackle difficult problems, Dr. Gottman recommends using the Two-Circle Method, which provides a framework for problem-solving from start to finish.

Here are the steps for improving problem-solving skills:

  1. Choose a specific problem that you and your partner want to discuss.
  2. Take some time to reflect individually on the chosen problem. On a piece of paper, draw two circles: a smaller inner circle and a larger outer circle. In the inner circle, list the aspects of the problem that you consider non-negotiable or can’t give in on. In the outer circle, list the aspects of the problem that you are open to compromise on.
  3. Share your circles with each other, focusing on two goals: understanding each other’s needs (inner circle) and finding ways to reach a compromise based on your wants (outer circle).
  4. Ask yourselves important questions: What aspects do we agree on? What are the common feelings or the most significant emotions related to this issue? What shared goals can we set? How can we gain a better understanding of the situation or problem? What approach do we think will help us achieve our goals?
  5. Once you have identified common ground, test the agreed-upon solution for a specific period before revisiting the topic. Evaluate whether the solution is effective. If not, restart the exercise and continue exploring other possibilities.
  6. Through these steps, a therapist assists partners in resolving their problems and identifying areas where compromise is possible by identifying their areas of greater flexibility.

By following this method, partners can work together to understand each other’s perspectives, find common ground, and reach compromises that address both their needs and wants. It provides a structured approach to problem-solving and facilitates effective communication and resolution within the relationship.

Marriage counseling for improving problem-solving skills

Marriage counseling for improving problem-solving skills serves as a valuable tool for couples to enhance their relationship. Through a safe and supportive environment, couples can develop effective communication, identify underlying issues, and learn constructive conflict resolution strategies. The guidance of a skilled marriage counselor helps couples build emotional intelligence, strengthen problem-solving techniques, and foster a healthier and more fulfilling partnership. Remember, seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness but a proactive step towards creating a stronger and happier marriage. With the support of marriage counseling, couples can cultivate problem-solving skills that will empower them to face challenges together and thrive in their relationship.

Source: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Gottman, J. M. (2015).


Sources: Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy, 6th Edition (Jay L. Lebow, Douglas K. Snyder


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