Marriage Counseling on Managing Anger


Marriage is a beautiful union between two individuals who embark on a journey of love, understanding, and personal growth. However, like any relationship, it is not immune to challenges and conflicts. Among these challenges, anger can be one of the most common and destructive emotions that threaten harmony of it. Uncontrolled anger can lead to hurtful words, strained communication, and a breakdown of trust. Marriage counseling on managing anger can help couples explore and address these root causes, enabling them to manage anger more effectively.

Understanding Anger in Marriage:

Anger is a natural human emotion, and it is inevitable to experience it from time to time. In a marriage, conflicts, unmet expectations, and unresolved issues can trigger anger in both partners. If left unaddressed, anger can escalate into a toxic cycle of blame, resentment, and emotional distance.

It is important to recognize that anger often serves as a symptom of deeper underlying issues. It may stem from unresolved childhood trauma, unmet emotional needs, or ineffective communication patterns learned from past experiences.

CCBTPA suggests three interventions to manage anger in couple therapy:

  1. Interventions to Modify Behavior
  2. Interventions to Modify Cognition
  3. Interventions for Emotion Regulation

Interventions to Modify Behaviour:

  • Time-out: Couples can agree to use a “time-out” strategy with the assistance of a therapist. This involves temporarily ceasing negative interactions and creating distance to practice emotion regulation strategies. During this break, couples can plan a more constructive approach to communication and reaffirm their commitment to avoiding further aggression. By calmly interacting and explicitly expressing their calmness, therapists can emphasize the importance of using a “cooling off period” and create a safe space for discussing issues.
  • Communication Skills Training: Couples can learn communication patterns that replace aggressive interactions with more constructive ones. Taking turns in the roles of expresser and listener helps prevent the escalation of emotional arousal and aggressive behavior. Couples from cultural backgrounds that emphasize indirect communication may need support in expressing themselves directly while respecting their preferences.
  • Problem-Solving Skills Training: Couples are taught problem-solving skills to effectively resolve conflicts. This approach emphasizes collaboration, and respect for each other’s ideas and preferences, and provides psychoeducation about the benefits of teamwork. It also counteracts beliefs associated with partner aggression.
  • Increasing Positive Behavior and Addressing Core Needs: Therapists can guide couples to draw on their history of enjoyable activities, helping them plan and engage in behaviors that create new positive experiences.


By implementing these interventions, couples can work on managing their anger, improving communication, and addressing the underlying issues that contribute to conflicts in their marriage.

Source: Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy, 6th Edition (Jay L. Lebow, Douglas K. Snyder


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top