Marriage counseling for rebuilding intimacy

Introduction: Marriage counseling for rebuilding intimacy

Intimacy plays a crucial role in a strong marriage, fostering emotional closeness, trust, and passion between partners. However, various factors like stress, communication breakdowns, and unresolved conflicts can erode this closeness over time. Marriage counseling for rebuilding intimacy encompasses emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical connection, serving as the foundation for empathy, trust, and understanding. 

Techniques for building intimacy

To restore intimacy, Dr. Gottman’s three talents and one guideline for intimate conversations are essential.

  1. Expressing Emotions through Verbal Communication: The first talent involves the ability to articulate one’s emotions effectively. This skill, known as “focusing” by Eugene Gendlin, involves finding the right words, phrases, metaphors, and images that accurately convey our feelings. By engaging in dialogue about emotions, conversations become more intimate and profound as words express our true selves.
  2. Encouraging Open-Ended Questions: Asking open-ended questions encourages partners to express their emotions. This can be achieved through focused queries like, “What is your worst-case scenario in this situation?” or by making specific remarks that elicit emotional responses, such as “Tell me the story behind that.” This skill allows for deeper understanding and connection.
  3. Expressing Empathy: Expressing empathy means acknowledging that the thoughts, feelings, and needs of your partner make sense to you, even if you have different perspectives or interpretations of events. Empathy involves validating your partner’s perceptions and communicating that their thoughts and feelings are valid within their own perspective. Both partners’ perceptions are respected and considered.


Marriage counseling for rebuilding intimacy transformative journey that requires both partners to be open, vulnerable, and willing to make an effort. With the support of a skilled marriage counselor, couples can embark on a journey of rediscovery, strengthening their connection and nurturing a love that grows deeper with time.

Book: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Gottman, J. M. (2015).  


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